Destiny- Cruel or Kind?

I like myself! or maybe I'm just settling because I'm too lazy to change.

Who I have become was definately not what I dreamt of walking to and from school.

Does experience shape who we are? or do we just grow into who we are suppose to be?
"Can you change your stars?" like in the movie "A Knight’s Tale"

Let me elaborate...

Dream: Get married at the age of 27
Reality: Got married at 17

Dream: Become a doctor since the age of 7 to 16, later changed to a nurse. Never happened.
Reality: Had a boyfriend who became my husband -Working in the medical insurance industry, auditing medical accounts.

Dream: I wanted to be independent, do what I like when I liked
Reality: Got divorced. Forced into independence, doing just that.

etc....

So how much of my destiny is in my hands and how does my destiny affects those around me?